A Date with Ashwa

Full Disclaimer:
This content does not constitute medical advice and should not be treated as such. It reflects personal research and experience only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or describe any medical condition. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional before using any supplement or substance.

So, I have heard people talk, and for a change I decided to listen. 
This time I did not just listen to acknowledge but instead — I listened with some degree of curiosity. 
Over the years, I’ve met people suffering from acute/severe anxiety, major depression, panic attacks, social dissonance, burnout and emotional suppression.
Suddenly, I encounter the same people and almost overnight they are… Chilled.

No mental breakdowns, no drama, no micromanaging bosses, no crash outs, no binge drinking, no babby daddy issues, cheating boyfriends/girlfriend/husband stories. Nothing. Just stillness. 

Ordinarily I wouldn’t care less, however, the consistent patterns among people that have never met not only raised suspicion, but a burning question of whether I am being left out on something important? Or are my thoughts and reality outdated? Or is there a some divine intervention that some people have received that I am yet to be blessed with? 
One name kept surfacing in the conversations.
Ashwagandha.

What is Ashwagandha?

Ashwagandha is a small evergreen shrub used in Ayurvedic medicine(India’s traditional medical system) for over 3,000 years.

• Botanical name: Withania somnifera
• Also called: Indian ginseng, winter cherry
• Main usable parts: root and leaves
• Classification: Adaptogen

This ancient herb is believed to help the body manage stress and restore balance. It is often used for vitality, longevity and resilience. Many people report feeling calmer or sleeping better after taking it.

Looking at all this, I thought to myself, what’s the worst that could happen?
I mean, my stress levels were off the charts.
I was binging on wine while watching my entire world collapse.
So what harm would it do trying out an alternative form of therapy since I never found any solutions from the bottom of the bottle?

I didn’t take Ashwagandha looking for enlightenment or a miracle cure.
I took it because I wanted to know whether the claims matched my own experience.
The internet promised everything from reduced stress to better sleep and increased focus.
My mission was not to believe the claims.
My mission was to test them.
And ultimately, find a better crutch that was not a bottle of liquor.

Securing the Date

Finding the right brand, and which product to pick felt like the first day I walked into Dis-Chem to buy nappies and baby formula for the first time. Allow me to explain:

Ashwa has three forms:

• Tea
• Powder
• Capsule

Out of these three forms, there are different strengths. Each strength has a different brand and each brand and strength and form has a different effect on the body. Many first-time dads can relate to this:
I spent almost an hour walking up and down the isles like a store manager inspecting packaging alignment, reading every instruction pack, comparing prices, raising my hand for in-store assistance for a second opinion.
Eventually, I walked out with a bottle of Energade and Doritos. No Ashwa. Why?
I needed a point of reference. And I was not about to buy the wrong thing. Fortunately for me, I had a “dealer” that was willing to spot me with 2 600mg capsules to get me started.

So here I was, parked in my driveway.
Looking at this container thinking to myself, “here goes nothing.”
I twisted the cap.
Two capsules fell into my hand.
I swallowed both without thinking twice… Then something hit me…
I was never told how many capsules I should take.
I scrambled for my phone to send a text.
The reply: “Take one per day.”
Oops.

The Date Begins

So after popping both capsules, I sat there… Waiting.

I wasn’t waiting for enlightenment.
I wasn’t expecting my problems to magically disappear.
If anything, I was expecting disappointment.
Another supplement making another promise.
Eventually I decided, mxm, nothing is happening and made my way inside my apartment.
The familiar expectation of instant gratification proved to be rather impulsive instead of paying attention to what was really going on. It wasn’t until I was half-way up the stairs that I noticed something that I was absolutely foreign to me.
Not happiness. Not euphoria. Neither drowsiness.
It was the absence of something that had been with me for so long that I had mistaken it for part of my personality. Something that I always questioned on whether it truly belonged with who I am.
Noise.

Not the kind coming from traffic, television or people. It was the absence of relentless internal commentary and obsessive planning. The replaying of conversations. The rehearsing of arguments that had already happened and those that never even occurred. The constant anticipation of the next problem and worrying about this, that and the other thing. The self-consciousness, judgement and self-criticism. All of it, everything, gone. All that was left behind, was silence.

At that exact moment, I thought to myself, “Huh… that’s interesting.”
I shrugged it off and continued towards the doorway. Yet something felt different.
My mind kept hitting blanks—not because I couldn’t think, but because there was nothing demanding to be thought about.
For the first time in years, I wasn’t reacting to my thoughts. I was observing them.
There was space between a thought and my response to it.
I wasn’t numb.
I wasn’t emotionally disconnected.
I simply felt… intentional.

I went on about my business for about an hour until I was like, “wait a minute… what’s going on here?
Why am I not stressing?
How am I this calm?
Normally my panic makes me panic.
Why is my panic not panicking?
But hold on… Why should I even panic? Everything is fine… Yes… Everything is fine.”

From that moment on, ‘Everything is fine’ became the operative words for the rest of the day.
Cut me off in long queue? It’s fine.
Accidentally give me the wrong order and make me wait an extra 20 minutes? It’s fine.
Car breakdown in the middle of the highway? It’s fine.
Everything will sort itself out. And you know what? Everything eventually did.
The problems didn’t disappear. My reaction to them did.
The queues were still long. Mistakes still happened. Life was still life. The difference was that I finally had enough space between the problem and my response to choose what happened next.

End of the Date

If you’ve ever been on a date before, you’ll know that the last few minutes matter the most. They’re the difference between being invited in for coffee, a warm hug and plans for a second date… or a polite smile followed by the relationship equivalent of Ctrl + Alt + Delete. See you never.
Don’t call me I’ll call you!

With that said, the cooldown period was more surprising than the actual main effect itself.
What surprised me most wasn’t the effect itself. It was what happened after it faded.
I kept waiting for the crash. The emotional hangover. The mental equivalent of drinking an entire bottle of wine and paying for it the next morning.
It never came.

Instead, the noise slowly returned. And trust me, somebody turned the volume all the way up.
So, I did the only thing a curious person would do.
I called my pharmacist. Better yet, I walked right back into the store. I needed her to look me in the eye.

First I explained what happened then asked her,
“What on earth just happened to me?”
“Was I high?”
“Was this a mood stabiliser?”
“A tranquilliser?”
“Some kind of herbal antidepressant?”
“Is it actually safe to take regularly, every day?”
“Can I become dependent on it?”
“And why was I suddenly drinking water like I’d crossed the Sahara?”

I had questions, and I needed answers. Immediately.

So she listened, to me going on and on about my day yesterday until I eventually paused to take a breath and she laughed, finding the chance to start explaining.

“No,” she said. “You weren’t high.” She explained.
Then she began explaining what Ashwagandha is, what it’s believed to do, and—perhaps more importantly—what it doesn’t do.
Secondly this wasn’t a magic herb.
She explained what an adaptogen is. Basically it is neither a stimulant nor a depressive medication, mood stabiliser nor tranquilliser. Adaptogens are thought to help the body maintain balance when it’s under pressure.

I then realised that though Ashwagandha is believed to help the body adapt to stress rather than acting like a sedative, experiences vary from person to person. And that the effects aren’t guaranteed or identical for everyone.
With that, my path was clear.
I went back into the isles that I spent about an hour in yesterday.
This time, with my chest out , head high and conviction.

I snatched the same bottle off the shelf like an experienced dad buying baby formula and nappies for his second child.
No comparing brands. No reading labels. No hunting for specials. I’ve got this.
As I made my way to the checkout, something caught my eye. Two labels: Tea. Powder.
“Damn.” I thought, lowered my head, turned around and marched straight back to the pharmacist.
“Uhm… ma’am,” I said, “could you kindly step into my office for a moment?”

She smiled.“Back so soon?” Almost knowing that I just realised something important.
“I’ve got questions.” I began.
“Why capsules? Why tea? Why powder? Is there a difference, or is this just clever marketing?”
Turns out, it all comes down to preference.

Some people enjoy the ritual of making tea. It’s warm, calming, and can become part of an evening routine. Others don’t enjoy the earthy, slightly bitter taste of Ashwagandha, making capsules a convenient way to take a measured dose without having to taste it.

The powder works much the same way. Some people stir it into smoothies, yoghurt or warm milk. In other words, it’s less about one form being “better” than another and more about what best fits your lifestyle. A capsule isn’t automatically stronger than a tea, and a powder isn’t automatically more effective than a capsule.

That answer left me thinking.
If the delivery method is largely a matter of preference, then perhaps the real variable isn’t the product.
Perhaps it’s the person.
Maybe this herb responds differently depending on who’s taking it, why they’re taking it, and what they’re hoping to get out of it.

My curiosity had officially taken over.
I thanked the pharmacist before smiling and saying,
“I appreciate your services. You are dismissed.”
She laughed.
I wasn’t joking.

A few moments later, I found myself also carrying a box of Ashwagandha tea, a packet of powder, and—because apparently I can’t walk through this store without making questionable decisions—an Energade and a bag of Doritos.
I don’t know what is about this store. But you will almost never walk out with exactly what you came to buy.

Also, you’d think products like Ashwa would be dispensed with the same restrictions as prescription medication. Right? Wrong! Does this mean go all out and clear the shelf? No. Be reasonable.

Anyway, rather than judging Ashwagandha based on a single experience, I decided to treat this as an experiment. Three forms. Tea. Powder. Capsules. One at a time. Enough time between each trial to observe any differences before moving on to the next.

About the date

Every date teaches you something. Some start off awkward and end amazing. Others start off great and end poorly. Some teach you that you were never compatible. Others remind you that first impressions can be deceiving.

This one introduced me to a version of myself I hadn’t met in a very long time—a version that didn’t need to fight every thought that entered my mind.

Whether Ashwa and I become long-term partners remains to be seen.
But I can confidently say this; I’ve already decided on the second date and will be meeting the rest of the family.
I think we may be moving too fast.

Author’s Note:
This article documents my personal experience with Ashwagandha and should not be interpreted as medical advice or as a guarantee that others will have the same experience. If you are considering using Ashwagandha or any other supplement, speak to a qualified healthcare professional and follow the product’s recommended directions.